
I've seen a lot of advice about leadership that causes so much more heartache than it seeks to avoid...
"This is business; don't let it get personal."
"Process feelings later; just get things done."
"Leave personal baggage at the door."
"Move forward with a clinical perspective."
This "clinical leadership" mindset might be good for the battlefield or crisis work, but working consistently from this mindset has left people, even in caring professions, cold and detached from their own missions, and from one another. This leadership model is no longer serving us, with evidences everywhere: top psychologists emphasizing vulnerability within healthy boundaries; psychological studies confirming the link between our emotional and physical health; bestselling management books embracing emotional intelligence.
The truth is, compartmentalizing is a recipe for burnout. When leaders encourage people keep their feelings out of their work, outside observers can feel it. These work groups tend to run through cycles of hot and cold, having flashpoint conflicts with long periods of chilly silence or avoidance in-between. This can look like:
Tight body language in public spaces, especially heads-down with screens and papers
Hushed and exclusive water-cooler and break-room conversations
Topic avoidance in meetings, followed by long emails
Passive-aggressive Post-it notes everywhere
Excessive and trivial grievance reports
When we gather our teams for frank discussions--particularly when examining what's not working--it is vital to get the whole story from all people. Why are they there? Why did they choose this work? What are the pieces of themselves they feel they must keep out of their work? Out of meetings? Often it's in inviting answers to these questions--within an environment of safety--that your team can begin to form creative solutions from places of inertia and chaos.
I like to call this "reintegration," and it's very useful when working with groups that have gone cold or hot in their work with one another. Creating the safe spaces from which to do this work is at the heart of great meeting facilitation.
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